Moma and Daughter - Doing Just Fine

Just. It’s just a word. A four-letter word. A word that can get under my skin.

It’s often used when something is lacking. Every single time my daughter and I walk into a restaurant, the hostess says, “Just the two of you?” I feel like they are really asking, “Is there a dad on the way? Is there a dad meeting you for dinner tonight?” I hate it when they do that.

If I’m on a date, the response is different, “Oh, right this way.” Nothing missing from the picture when it’s a man and a woman out for dinner.

If I’m out with a friend, same thing. “Right this way. Enjoy.” They never stop and ask “Just two tonight?” Again, that picture is complete. Two friends makes sense. A man and a woman makes sense. A mother and daughter seem off somehow. That bothers me.

Last year for my birthday my daughter and I took our annual trip to New York City. It was a perfect, magical trip. One woman who doesn’t know me well seemed confused. “Just the two of you? Just you and your daughter went to New York City?” she kept asking. I added that my daughter took a friend. She continued. “So just you and the girls? You took two little girls to New York City?” I knew what she was thinking. I took a trip without a man. She couldn’t wrap her head around that. I felt sorry for her for thinking that way, not sorry for myself for being a single mom.

By this point in my life I have taken lots of trips as a single mom. And they have all been just right. Why in the world would I stop traveling just because I don’t have a husband? That just seems wrong.

It’s taken some time, but I am learning to make peace with the word just. At first, I would think we were just fine. But ,now I know we are more than that. We’re not just fine, we are just right. We are whole. We are happy. We are not just two. We are the perfect two, an awesome two. Our picture of a family may look different when we walk into a restaurant or when we send out holiday cards, but that’s OK. We are a family. We are a perfect family. We are just right.

Celebrating my 50th birthday together in our secret spot in Times Square.